To my dear family and friends (and anyone who loves someone with depression and/or anxiety),
I know that sometimes you don’t understand.
I know that sometimes my behaviour comes across as selfish or snobbish or as if I just don’t care.
I want to assure you that it is none of those things.
Anxiety and depression has stolen a lot of things from me and I know that it is asking a lot to plead with you not to let me lose you too, especially if you feel that I have hurt you.
I want you to know that I am trying.
I want you to know that I am getting better.
I want you to know that even if I don’t answer your phone calls or don’t text you back, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear from you.
I want you to know that if I don’t come to your party or go out for coffee with you, it doesn’t mean I don’t want you in my life.
I want you to know that if I don’t initiate contact with you, it doesn’t mean that I have forgotten about you.
Sometimes being around other people is hard – too hard.
Sometimes I feel like I am a burden.
Sometimes I feel like you don’t want or need me in your life.
All of the time I feel like I’ve let you down somehow.
All of the time I question the things I say and do.
All of the time I wish I could be different, better.
I wish I could be the person you need me to be.
I’m sorry that it is so hard to love me.
I’m sorry if my behaviour has hurt you.
I love you, even if sometimes I can’t show it.